looking back

I was inspired by Heather's post on Monday. Three years ago this month change was stirring in my heart and would soon be working it's way into my life. On April 6, 2008 I posted a blog on my LJ that included an excerpt from Donald Miller's book Through Painted Deserts. This is what it said:

"It's a living book, this life; it folds out in a million settings, cast with a billion beautiful characters, and it is almost over for you. It doesn't matter how old you are; it is coming to a close quickly, and soon the credits will roll and all your friends will fold out of your funeral and drive back to their homes in cold and still and silence. And they will make a fire and pour some wine and think about how you once were....and feel a kind of sickness at the idea you never again will be.

So soon you will be in that part of the book where you are holding the bulk of the pages in your left hand, and only a thin wisp of the story in your right. You will know by the page count, not by the narrative, that the Author is wrapping things up. You begin to mourn its ending, and want to pace yourself slowly toward its closure, knowing the last lines will speak of something beautiful, of the end of something long and earned, and you hope the thing closes out like last breaths, like whispers about how much and who the characters have come to love, and how authentic the sentiments feel when they have earned a hundred pages of qualification.

And so my prayer is that your story will have involved some leaving and some coming home, some summer and some winter, some roses blooming out like children in a play. My hope is your story will be about changing, about getting something beautiful born inside of you, about learning to love a woman or a man, about learning to love a child, about moving yourself around water, around mountains, around friends, about learning to love others more than we love ourselves, about learning oneness as a way of understanding God. We get one story, you and I, and one story alone. God has established the elements, the setting and the climax and the resolution. It would be a crime not to venture out, wouldn't it?

It might be time for you to go. It might be time to change, to shine out.

I want to repeat one word for you:

Leave.

Roll the word around on your tongue for a bit. It is a beautiful word, isn't it? So strong and forceful, the way you have always wanted to be. And you will not be alone. You have never been alone. Don't worry. Everything will still be here when you get back. It is you who will have changed."

Little did I know that about a week after that Heather would find out her internship placement and Jenny and I would decide to move to California with her. Actually, I announced it officially on my LJ 3 years ago TODAY. My life changed so much when I moved to California and it's changed so much since then. Here are a couple pictures from April 2008.

Easter weekend fun with the girls.

Making dinner with Valerie for our friends. The night Heather called me with her placement.

Hike with Megan and Aimee at the end of April 2008.

seattle dreams

I don't know what's gotten into me, but in the last week I've started to dream (literally and figuratively) about moving back to Seattle. I've peeked at apartments on Craigslist and thought of where I'd like to live in Seattle if/when I move back. Ideally, I'd transfer with Bella Baby to their hospitals up there so I'd like to be close to work and/or public transportation, and of course, close to friends. I know I still have a long way to go, especially financially, before I can move, but it's still fun to dream and look ahead to the future.

I think it'd be amazing to find a place big enough for at least three (Heather, Jenny and myself), plus the cats, and potentially have a little den for a little work studio area for all of us. I'm obviously still in the dream-stage. Here are a couple pictures I found as apartment inspiration. Right now I have absolutely NO furniture. I think it's going to be lots of fun to furnish a place with the girls.

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Do you have any moving suggestions? Last time Heather and I used ABF U-Pack and got a pod. It was nice to not have to worry about dealing with a big moving truck.

Any suggestions on apartment hunting? I'm pretty sure each time I've moved I've used Craigslist for searching. What do you think are the best places to live in Seattle? Queen Anne? Downtown? Capital Hill? West Seattle? Ballard? Apartment? House?

Best places for furniture: couches, dining sets, bedroom sets, etc.?

Moving is a big decision and I'd love to hear your feedback and suggestions.

here's to you, california

Today marks one year since Heather and I moved home from California. I don't think I actually told the story about the move. So in honor of this sacred day, here goes:

Heather and I got up early to finish packing the car. We had loaded everything else in the pod which had been taken away the day before, so the things we had left HAD to fit in the car. We bought two cat carriers for the babies we had to fit in the back seat too. Luckily we jammed everything in the trunk and backseat, but it was FULL. We set off on what would be a 16+ hour day, but first we stopped at Starbucks. Once we got our caramel macchiatos and muffins, we realized we'd left our directions (different from what the GPS would tell us) at the apartment. Finally, we were on the road. The cats were so scared, even though we'd given them some calming medicine. Blizzard literally cried for the first TWO HOURS of the drive, NON-STOP!

Soon after Blizzard quieted down, Archie went potty and it SMELLED. Like, we were rolling down the windows and blasting air so we wouldn't throw up and had to pull over and clean it up, smelled. Heather and I pulled Archie out of his carrier and a poop flung out of the carrier and landed on me. We couldn't help but laugh the entire time this was happening. A semi turned around on the road to see if we were okay. We got Archie cleaned up and were back on the road. A little while later Blizzard got sick, so we made another stop on the side of the road to clean it up. This time we had a police officer stop to make sure we were okay. The thing about our stops was that the backseat of the car was literally PACKED. We had to pull things out and re-arrange in order to take the cats out of their carriers to clean things up. The babies were so freaked the entire time. My dad ended up finding a vet clinic in Nevada that we stopped at to get some different stuff to help calm them down, which didn't do much.

In the middle of Nevada we experienced an INSANE windstorm. At one point there was so much dirt and dust flying around we could barely see the brake lights of the car in front of us. The wind was blowing the car around on the road. We stopped at a gas station and the large covering over the gas pumps was moving around. At one point a large matress was picked up by the wind off the left side of the road and FLEW OVER our car, by like one foot. Praise God for His protection. It was so close to flying in front of us. We were already sick of Nevada and had added over two hours to our travel time because of our unexpected stops, when it got dark and started pouring rain. We had made it to Winnemuca and were so close to stopping for the day. But we just wanted to get out of Nevada and get home because we were exhausted and the cats were still scared.

Once we finally crossed into Oregon we flipped Nevada off. But Oregon wasn't much better than Nevada. It gave us snow and a bobcat in the middle of the road. Luckily I saw it and Heather was able to swerve around it just in time. We were so exhausted and started playing a game to keep ourselves awake. Thankfully we weren't in Oregon long. As soon as we crossed into Idaho the sky opened up and the stars came out. It was pretty amazing! We finally made it home around 11pm. The cats were thankful to be out of their carriers, but were still scared about their new home.

I don't think we would have made it through the day without our sense of humor. After every crazy thing that would happen, we just had to laugh. Because, seriously? We would think, it can't get worse, nothing else is going to happen, but then, of course, it would.

I couldn't imagine that a year later I would have just ended my job at the fire center and be in almost the same place again. No real plan for whats next. I'm so thankful that I'm done with this job, because it means I'll have more time for school. I really need to buckle down for the rest of the semester and get more prepared for my Thesis Proposal Midpoint Review next semester. I'd really like to find a good part-time job, so that I can continue to pay off my credit card and get out of debt. I know that moving home was exactly what I was supposed to do, even though I miss California like CRAZYYYY, especially lately. I'm really just trusting God to lead me, like He has many time before, where He wants me.

Anyway, here's to you, California. I miss you.

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